Our friend/neighbor Paul, passed away last Friday. He was very sick (we found out lung cancer). Paul was a very private person and even though we talked with him a few times a week we had no idea of that very vital detail of his life. It’s strange.
Paul was a gardener, an animal lover and an over all kind person. He gave Taylor and I space in his big garden to plant whatever we’d like, and gave us advice on what to do. He was a hoarder, plastic plant containers and tools littered his house and yard. (Hoarding and pain in my opinion are cohesive in a lot of ways). But Paul was a quiet, nice man and all of our neighbors were distraught when they found out (contemplating their own lives and death), because Paul was loved.
So with all of that being said, about his character and interests, not one single family member has shown up to claim anything of his or to plan a funeral. This has left our neighbors confused, some sad. Including us.
I started trying to look up Paul on the internet and have found nothing. Neighbors around us who have known Paul since he moved in about 8 years ago said he has a son but they had a rough relationship. Still that leaves me wondering how bad of a relationship could you have had to not even come take care of your father after his death.
I’m not going to judge their relationship. Maybe Paul and his son have a terrible history, maybe the Paul before the sickness was not the Paul we got to know towards the end. But it makes you think, are fights with your family that go on for years really worth it? You go on with your life thinking maybe that one day you will fix it, and then the next day they are gone.
I’m not ready to give up on finding more about Paul, more for my neighbors sake than anything. But I’m starting to think that the little we knew about Paul is all we are ever going to know. and it’s sad.